Florida's Culture War: DeSantis vs. the Wokesters

The Sunshine State is again at a crossroads, and it's nothing we haven't seen before.

Step into the wild world of 2023, where Florida is locked in a feverish clash of cultures. Picture this: On one side, you've got the wokesters, those feverish souls hell-bent on turning the Sunshine State into a sanctuary of progressive dreams. And then, looming like a big bad wolf on the other side, there's Gov. Ron DeSantis, pledging to safeguard Florida's time-honored values. This is not much different than how it was in the 1980s and 1990s (more on that later).

It's a raucous showdown, my friends, and the collateral damage is piling up like spent bullet casings. The NAACP has sounded the gaslighting alarm, advising folks of color, the LGBTQ+ gang, and all who march to their beat to steer clear of Florida's crosshairs. Meanwhile, the American Educational Research Association decided to pack up its annual shindig and scram from Orlando. Even the Game of Thrones fanatics waved the white flag on their convention plans and have shunned Florida.

But mark my words, the grandest casualty might just be Florida's economic mojo. The state's bread-and-butter industry – tourism – is strung up like a piñata, and it's DeSantis's anti-woke creed that's swinging the bat. Businesses are tossing conventions like losing poker hands, and the tourists? They're playing hard to get.

Of course, the wokesters are chomping at the bit, pointing their fingers at DeSantis like he's the boogeyman of the downturn. They reckon it's his policies making Florida a hostile hangout. But ‌it's the woke crowd themselves who've whipped up a storm that's chasing folks away. They've got this itch to drape their values on everyone, like they're dressing up mannequins.

Florida, bless its wacky heart, is a carnival of diversity, a canvas painted with every color in the human spectrum. The wokesters seem set on etching it into a uniform utopia, but that's just a pipe dream. It's a state where folks can strut to their own tune, sing their own song, and dream their own dreams.

In rides DeSantis, the vigilante of that very liberty. He's the one giving the wokesters the stink-eye, working to keep Florida's traditional roots, if Florida ever had traditional, conservative roots in the first place. For me though, DeSantis reminds me of Florida Gov. Martinez from the late 80s and early 90s, and his inane conservative fight against Two Live Crew and what one’s bumper sticker can say or not say. And let’s not forget how our government got hard on crime, by clearing thong-wearing hot dog vendors from our streets, while also measuring how much fabric was covering butt cheeks on state beaches.

Much like the Republican Party lost me when they went too conservative in the early 1990s, DeSantis lost me over the last two years due to his conservative crusade; squandering all the good will he built up during and before COVID. This does not bode well for DeSantis in 2024, regardless of how many Republicans have moved to Florida.

Now, the wokesters might wince, but they better brace for a wild ride. Florida ain't about to trade its flip-flops for Birkenstocks and turn into some woke fairyland. No, siree. It's gonna stand its ground as a colorful, free-wheeling realm where folks can be their wildest selves.

So, if you're on the hunt for a haven that's free from the clutches of woke mania, look no further than Florida. But remember, this ain't no tame escape. Along the way, you're gonna lock eyes with some true-blue characters that'll make your head spin faster than a roulette wheel.

Picture the retirees from Ohio – they're like migratory birds, soaring to Florida's warmth for the winter. They're conservative but not bitter, just yearning to sip their margaritas in peace.

Then there's that young clan from California, who traded the golden state for the sandy shores. They're liberals, not wokesters, hoping to snag a slice of the good life for their kin.

So, if you're hankering for a slice of paradise where you can strut your stuff without a care, Florida's got your name on it. So pack your bags, and get ready to meet the cast of a lifetime.

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